The National Runaway Switchboard
estimates that up to 2.8 million children and teens run away from home each
year. Many return home within the first 24 hours, but there are still a
staggering number that never make it home. If your child is threatening to run
away, here are 10 things to consider.
.
Assess the Actual
Risk – An older child with serious
behavioral problems is significantly more likely to run away than an angry
elementary school student. Try to determine if there’s an actual risk, or if
your child is simply making threats out of an inability to properly express
themselves.
.
Create an Environment
Conducive to Talking – Kids that don’t
feel as if they can be honest and open with their parents often feel as if there’s
no one at home who can help them. Creating an environment that helps your child
feel comfortable and respected is one of the best ways to get to the root of
and to prevent problems.
.
Ask Them How They Can
Make Their Situation Better – When your child
calms down enough to speak rationally, ask them what other steps they could
take to improve the situation they’d like to run away from. Often, verbalizing
their problems and actively looking for alternative solutions will ease the
powerlessness that they feel and help them think more clearly.
.
Focus On Causes, Not
Threats – Though threats of running away
should never be treated lightly, it’s best to focus on finding out the cause of
your child’s distress before tackling the resulting threats.
.
Speak to Your
Pediatrician – If you genuinely feel that
your child is at risk of running away, your pediatrician or family doctor can
refer you to a therapist or counselor who can help you monitor your child and
uncover the underlying issue.
.
Stay Calm – Though threats of running away are very upsetting
to any parent, it’s important not to let anger or hysterical emotion come to
the surface during a conversation with your child, especially a teenager. Teens
are often uncomfortable with these displays and may feel an even stronger urge
to escape the pressure.
.
Never Call Their
Bluff – Offering to help your child
pack or calling their bluff only serves to make them feel unwanted, which could
elevate what was an idle threat to a point where they feel obligated to leave.
.
Acknowledge That You
Can’t Stop Them – A sense of
powerlessness and an idea that living on their own will help them regain that
lost power is often a large part of the appeal of running away. By
acknowledging that you can’t stop your child from running away if they’re
determined to, but that you desperately want them to stay, can help them feel
as if a bit of power has been restored.
.
Explore Other Options – Kids that want to run away because of bullying or
harassment at school may be so desperate to escape the torment that they’ll go
to any lengths. If this is the case with your child, it might be a good idea to
seriously discuss options like homeschooling or even moving to another school
district.
.
Understand That
Threats Are a Plea For Help – When kids threaten
to run away, they’re doing so because they want to be stopped. Cluing parents
in on plans to flee opens the door for serious preventative measures, and kids
know that. Without marginalizing your child’s threats to leave, focus on the
help they’re seeking.
Children that run away from home
and never return are often victims of sex trafficking, drug abuse and other
dangers. Letting your child know that they are loved and wanted, and that you
will do everything in your power to help them through a difficult time, can
keep them from this dangerous fate.
Source: Nanny Care
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