Listening the key to kids learning

Listening is an essential skill that sets your child on the road to speaking. It's the key to learning and to forming good relationships.

Talking and listening go hand in hand. Long before your baby talks, you have ‘conversations’ – speaking to her, naming things, pausing while she reacts, then reacting back to her. Listening to you she absorbs the basic blocks of language, and your expressive and exaggerated speech helps her learn and pronounce words. At the same time, she’s learning that there are pauses and nonverbal exchanges that are as telling as the words themselves. Once she’s begun talking, it’s the way you listen to her that will help her become a good listener too.

Why is listening so important?

Listening skills are part and parcel of good learning skills, and studies have shown that children who listen well manage their schoolwork better. But it’s not just about school learning. Listening is vital to forming relationships. We’ve all been frustrated by people who never listen to us but hog the conversation all the time. The give and take of conversation can be developed from an early age.

Why won’t my child listen?

Toddlers are not good listeners, as parents rapidly discover. It’s annoying, but it’s a natural stage in early childhood. To help your child listen better you first have to listen to them and understand that:

Toddlers can’t wait patiently. They are in a hurry to do the next thing

•      Toddlers never seem to stop asking questions. Answer as patiently as you can

•      They often interrupt – and may forget what they were going to say! Assess the urgency; sometimes they’ll have to wait

•      They won’t answer questions like: how was your day at kindie? Try specific bitesize questions: “Did you play trains?”... “Did you eat some fruit?” Listen to their response and encourage them to enlarge on it by asking more related questions.

Developing listening skills

•      Read together then have a discussion: ask a question, listen to the answer, then take it a stage further. Earmark a daily time for listening to your child: bedtime is often best, when they are less distracted

•      Be patient. Let your child speak for himself, even if he’s struggling to do so

•      If there are several children fi ghting for airspace, make them take turns in talking and listening

•      Give them your full attention and show you’ve understood by repeating key words. Note their facial and body language as well as speech. Give them feedback

•      Develop a culture of conversation in the home. Talk about your day, the news, and ask them how they feel about things. The more a child is subject to well-balanced conversation, the better he’ll understand that listening is as important as talking.

Try these tips

•      Get down to their level

•      Establish eye contact

•      Ask the child to repeat your instructions

•      Don’t drag them away from their urgent games! Give them some warning that you want to talk to them

When a child can’t listen

Some children have a weak auditory memory (the ability to process oral information). They have difficulty absorbing information, holding it in their mind and recalling it. This can lead to learning and behavioural difficulties. If you suspect your child has this problem, consult your GP and request a consultation with a specialist.

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