Is Your Child Ready for a Cell Phone?

If you have a child older than 5, you've probably already heard the plea. "Can I have a cell phone?" your child asks. Or, "Why can't I have a cell phone?"

No doubt about it: Cell phones are a great way to stay in touch anytime, anywhere. But is your child old enough for one? That's a tough call for many parents, because it's not just about the child's age. So if you -- and your child -- are having this debate, here are some considerations to keep in mind.

Benefits

You can't beat the convenience. If your child has a cell phone, you can call or text him about where he is and what he's doing, and your plans. You may also feel safer knowing where your kids are. And in an emergency, a cell phone can be crucial if your child needs to reach you -- or vice versa. That's partly why many parents are buying their kids cell phones. Twice as many children have cell phones now as in 2004. Most teens -- 85% of those aged 14 to 17 -- have cell phones. So do 69% of 11-14 year olds, and 31% of kids aged 8-10, according to a 2010 survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation. Kids may see having a phone as part of fitting in with their friends. But there are also some potential downsides to consider.

Health Considerations

Radiation

Cell phones work by using radio waves. That's radiation (though it's not like what you'd get from an X-ray or other medical use). Does that affect health -- especially if children start using them at a very young age, when their brains are still developing?

In 2011, an international study showed no link between cell phone use and brain tumors in teens and adolescents. However, the researcher pointed out that the people in that study didn't use their phones as much as people do today.

Still, experts say longer studies are needed. "It will take several decades to get conclusive evidence on this," says Joel Moskowitz, PhD, director of the Center for Family and Community Health at UC Berkeley's School of Public Health.  The FDA's web site states that "the scientific evidence does not show a danger to any users of cell phones from radiofrequency energy exposure, including children and teenagers."

There are ways to reduce your exposure:

•      Spend less time on your phone.

•      When you're on a call, use speaker mode or a headset.

Sleep

If your child takes her cell phone with her at bedtime, will she actually go to sleep or stay up and text? Pediatricians are seeing growing evidence that cell phones, especially those that allow kids to text, can disrupt children's sleep patterns. In a recent survey, four out of five cell-owning teens sleep with their phone on or by their beds, and teens who text were 42% more likely than those who don't to keep their device close at hand at night in case they got a text. Sleep is important for growing kids. As a parent, you can set rules around this. A phone can't wreck your child's sleep if your child doesn't have access to it after bedtime.

Teen Drivers and Texting

Texting while driving is a huge risk. It's the most distracting task a driver can do while on the road, a Virginia Tech Transportation Institute study shows.

Other research has found that talking on the phone -- whether hands-free or not -- affects driving ability as much as drinking alcohol. And 28% of all traffic accidents are caused by drivers using a phone to text or call, according to a National Safety Council.

Don't assume your teen won't use a phone while driving. In one survey, more than half of teens aged 16-17 who own cell phones said they have talked on the cell phone while driving, and a third of those teens who text admitted that they have texted while driving. "Lots of kids think they can multi-task," says Lori Evans, MD, director of training in psychology at the NYU Child Study Center. "But multi-tasking isn't really multi-tasking. It's just shifting attention. So kids think they can text and pay attention to the road, but in reality they can't. That's dangerous."

You need to have a serious talk with your teen about the risks. Follow up over time to make sure they get the message. And of course, make sure you behave exactly the way you're telling them to. If they see you driving while texting (or talking), you've undermined the lesson you want them to learn.

More Than a Phone

Cell phones can also put social media, videos, games, movies, music, and TV shows within reach. Are you ready for your child to have that kind of access? It's like giving your child a mini-computer to use -- one that he can use out of the sight and hearing of responsible adults. On one hand, social interaction can be positive. It's one way kids can learn to relate to other kids.

But there is also the potential for "cyber bullying," which is social harassment via text, instant messaging, or other social media. And many smartphones have a "location sharing" feature, which could raise concerns about people stalking kids as they go from place to place.

There isn't a lot of research yet on how cell phones affect mental and emotional health. But early studies show that frequent texting and emailing can disrupt kids' concentration. It can also become compulsive, if kids start to be "on call" 24/7 to keep up with their friends.

When Are They Ready?

In making the cell phone decision, you need to think beyond your child's age. "Maturity and the ability to be responsible are more important than a child's numerical age," says Caroline Knorr, parenting editor with the nonprofit group Common Sense Media in San Francisco. "We want our kids to be independent, to be able to walk home from school, and play at the playground without us," Knorr says. "We want them to have that old-fashioned, fun experience of being on their own, and cell phones can help with that. But parents have to do their research and talk to their children to make sure they're using the phones themselves safely, too."

As your child becomes more independent (think middle schoolers or high schoolers), they're closer to needing a phone than younger children whom you still take everywhere.

How can you tell if your child is mature enough? "Look for the developmental signs," Evans says. "Does your child lose his belongings? Is he generally a responsible kid? Can you trust him? Will he understand how to use the phone safely? The rate at which kids mature varies -- it will even be different among siblings." And think long and hard about whether your child actually needs rather than wants that phone. "Children really only need phones if they're traveling alone from place to place," Evans says. "Kids in carpools may not need phones but kids traveling on a subway or walking to school may. It's about who they are as individuals, what's going on in their lives, and how much they can handle, not a certain age or grade."

Monitoring Your Child's Phone

Should you check who your child is calling and what she's tweeting?

Absolutely, Knorr says. "I know that kids consider mobile devices to be personal property," she says. "And they don't want their parents snooping around. But I think parents are justified in saying, 'I understand this can be used for good but it also can be misused. So every now and then I'm going to check to make sure you're using it responsibly and respectfully." Then make it an ongoing dialogue: 'Have you gotten weird texts?' 'Any calls that made you uncomfortable?' 'Who are you texting?'"

But you might want to skip the GPS locator services. Neither Knorr nor Evans recommend them, unless the child is showing a pattern of getting into trouble. "Most kids don't need GPS trackers on them," Evans says. "That's really feeding on our anxiety as parents more than meeting a true safety need." "The issue is really about educating children how to use cell phones in appropriate ways," Evans says. "Cell phones can definitely be beneficial, as long as you know your individual child."

6 Cell Phone Rules for Kids

If you decide your child is ready for a cell phone, follow these tips to coach your child on how to use it.

•      Buy them a basic phone: Yes, you can still get a phone that doesn't include a camera, Internet access, games, and texting. If you're passing one of your phones down to your child, turn off all the extra features. And if your child complains, remind her that phones are tools, not toys. "It's about safety, not social status or games," Knorr says.

•      Set limits: Most cell phone companies allow you to cap the number of texts a user can send or receive and/or the number of minutes the cell phone can be used. If a child goes over the designated plan amount, have her pay the extra charges. (Older teens can be responsible for their entire cell bills.) You also can block Internet access on most phones, as well as calls from unapproved numbers.

•      Set more limits: Designate times that the cell phone needs to be turned off: for instance, during family meals, after 10 p.m., and during school hours. If your teen is a driver, insist that they not use the phone when driving. Some families don't allow cell phones in children's rooms at night, to keep kids from texting or making calls after bedtime. Insist that your child answer your calls and texts right away, and teach them not to answer or return calls and texts from people they don't know.

•      Follow the same limits yourself: Let's face it: You have to walk your talk. If you don't want your child to use the phone during meals or while driving, follow those rules yourself. If you don't want them to compulsively check their phone, don't do so yourself. You are your child's No. 1 role model, whether they admit it or not.

•  Create some distance: For now, until the radiation risks are clearer, Moskowitz recommends using ear phones instead of holding the phone up to the ear. Also, don't let kids sleep with their phones under their pillows. He also advises against carrying cell phones in front pants pockets, due to a potential radiation risk to the reproductive system.

•      Teach good behavior: Children aren't born knowing the rules about how to use cell phones respectfully: including not using them to spread rumors, not taking (or sending) photos without people's permission, not sending inappropriate photos or texts, not having personal conversations in public places -- and of course, never communicating with strangers, no matter how they present themselves.

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