Hey mum and dad - get a life!

THEY know the entire Wiggles back-catalogue by heart, tune in to Play School religiously and fill every spare minute with baby-talk - that's the parents, not the children.

But now experts say parents' obsession with all things baby is not always the best thing for their kids. Anyone with a child or friends who have them would be familiar with how every conversation comes back to babies whenever new parents are together, and how many parents struggle to embrace life beyond their new roles.

But psychologist Beulah Warren, who has worked with children and their parents for more than 20 years through her Family Futures practice in Sydney, said some parents became so wrapped up in raising their children they become closed off to the world around them. That cocooning instinct is natural in the four to six months after a baby is born, but longer periods are often to the detriment of themselves, their relationships and, ironically, their children.

"Children benefit from parents having interests away from them, and of course parents benefit from having adult friendships and associations," Ms Warren said. "Striking that balance between focusing on the family and the children, but also following their own careers and interests and maintaining their own friendships and relationships is a constant concern for most parents right up until their children leave home."

It's a challenge made tougher by the pressure on many families to work longer hours and for both parents to be employed to make ends meet. Karitane parenting help service education manager Monica Hughes said today's mums and dads were unfairly expected to be "super-parents". "Parenting is a major, life-changing job and it's a 24-hour job," she said. "But they shouldn't have to do everything. There is a fine line between what's healthy and what's not; if it's all-consuming and starts to cause anxiety, that's when there may be a problem."

First-time mum Hayley Cooke, 26, from Baulkham Hills, said she tried to keep a balance but having a baby "definitely changes your life". "When you have kids your conversations change, you don't have time to go to the movies or things like that anymore," she said. "You do definitely miss your own free time, you never really realise until you've lost it ... but (having a baby) it's the best thing ever."

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