Helping your child learn to feel compassion and empathy for others is
one of the most important lessons you can instill in them as a parent. As
bullying and cruelty become more prevalent, and children and teens are
resorting to extremes to find relief from the torment of their peers, helping
your child to understand how important it is to respect the feelings of others
can make a very real difference in the world around her. While it’s not always
easy to help a child grasp such an abstract concept, there are steps you can
take, as a family, to make the concept of being compassionate more understandable.
- Model Compassionate Behavior – Just as
your child learns to mimic your mannerisms and speech patterns, she’ll
also take most of her cues about how to treat her peers, elders, animals
and the environment from you as well. Making a conscious effort to model
compassionate, altruistic behavior in everyday life is one of the most
effective ways of ensuring that your child also learns to behave in such a
manner. When your child sees you treat the world around you with
compassion, she will instinctively follow the shining example you’ve set
for her.
- Take Opportunities to Talk
about Caring for Others – When your child is confronted with images of
violence, cruelty or bullying through television, movies and even her
everyday interactions with the world, it’s important to take the
opportunity to talk about how she thinks the victims of those actions feel
and how she might be able to help. With these examples to examine as
points of reference, a largely abstract notion can become more concrete
and easier to understand. Take the time to discuss empathy and compassion
every day, especially when events or images bring the issue to the
forefront.
- Volunteer as a Family – Spending
time as a family performing volunteer work can give your child not only an
up close and personal view of compassion and empathy in action, but also
the satisfied feeling that comes with making a positive difference in the
world. Making an effort to choose volunteer activities based upon your
child’s existing interests, the age-appropriateness of the tasks involved,
and her ability to immediately see a perceptible difference due to her
actions can help your child understand that helping others is both
important and rewarding. Working together as a family can also strengthen
bonds, give you an opportunity to continuously model compassionate
behavior, create talking points for later discussion, and allow you to
monitor what she’s exposed to in the course of her volunteer work.
- Teach Kids to Stand Up to
Bullying – While your child should understand that it’s
never acceptable to approach a bully in a confrontational or violent
manner, and that retaliation isn’t a solution to the problem of bullying,
you should also encourage her to make an effort to stand up to school
bullies in a compassionate and productive way. Reporting harassment of
another child to school authorities, making an effort to befriend children
that aren’t easily accepted by their peers, and never engaging in bullying
activities are all effective ways of combating the problem without
retaliation. It’s also important to explain that standing aside and doing
nothing to assist a victim of bullying or laughing at cruel pranks is the
same as condoning the treatment her classmate is receiving.
- Donate Outgrown Toys and
Clothes – When your child outgrows her toys and clothing while they’re
still in serviceable shape, it’s a good idea to get her involved in the
sorting and packing process, and then let her accompany you when you go to
make a donation. Seeing that the belongings she no longer needs are
finding good use in a needy home can instill the importance of charitable
giving, and ease any pangs of separation anxiety she feels.
- Practice Random Acts of
Kindness – Keeping your eyes open for small acts of
unexpected kindness that you and your child can perform together can not
only help her understand the concept of altruism, but can also help to
make it an everyday practice. Look for ways that you and your child can
help whenever you’re out together; in no time, she’ll be spotting
potential random acts of kindness herself.
While it’s not always a popular notion with harried parents, allowing
your child to keep a pet can provide her with an everyday incentive to be
compassionate and caring for a living being that needs her help to survive.
Smaller pets, like fish or hamsters, can be just as effective as dogs or cats.
Depending on your living situation and schedule constraints, adopting a pet for
your child to take responsibility for can be another very effective way of
passing along a lesson in compassion.
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