Influencing a child to make the right choices regarding his behavior can
be a challenge, especially when the child in question is a particularly strong-willed
one. Often, the most effective method of bringing about change is determining a
child’s individual currency and using it as an incentive to motivate him to
make the right choices.
What is Currency?
While your first thought at the word “currency” may be along the lines
of allowances and kids’ finances, currency as a behavioral concept actually has
nothing to do with money in most cases. Each child has their own form of
currency, whether it’s a hobby, activity or favorite toy. The desire to engage
in these activities or play with a favorite toy can be very strong, making it a
useful tool when he’s misbehaving. The things that he wants and desires the
most are seen as his particular currency.
How Do I Discover His Currency?
No one knows your child like you do. This intimate knowledge of his
fears, joys and favorite things makes you one of the only people who can
reliably discover his currency. Younger children may value sweet snacks or a
favorite television show greatly, while older ones may focus more strongly on
socialization and participation in a favorite activity. Paying close attention
to your child will help you quickly uncover what it is that motivates him,
which is the first step to bringing about positive change in his behavior or
attitude using a currency system.
How Do I Use My Child’s Currency?
If your child’s currency is a video game, for instance, you may find
that his behavior is more quickly and thoroughly modified when the amount of
time he can spend playing that game is jeopardized. Similarly, knowing that a
good performance could help him gain more time to spend playing could provide
him with the incentive he needs to behave better. A system of rewards and
consequences based around the activity, hobby or outcome that your child desires
most can be a very effective way of helping him to understand cause and effect
in relation to his own behavior.
Rewards and Consequences
When the ability to play a game, engage in a hobby, or spend time with
friends is directly tied to your child’s behavior, it puts him in control. His
decisions and the way he chooses to behave effects the outcome of any given
situation. Being able to make these decisions on his own and either reap the
rewards of making the right choice or suffer the consequences of a poor one not
only helps him understand that everything he does has an eventual result, but
also satisfies a burgeoning urge to assert his independence.
Intangibles Can Be Currency, Too
Some children are mostly driven by a desire to play their favorite
sport, watch a beloved television show, or stalk the opposition in a video
game. Others, however, are motivated more by a desire to be praised,
acknowledged and shown affection. Making sure that you satisfy this need any
time your child behaves in accordance with the guidelines you’ve put in place
will allow him to connect making the right choice with receiving that
attention. Don’t be hemmed in to thinking that your child’s currency is
restricted to physical toys, games or other items.
Be Cautious With Food as Currency
Instilling good dietary habits in your child is one of the most
important things you can do for him as a parent. With childhood obesity rates
and related health risks skyrocketing, it’s important to think carefully about
the way you use food as currency. Children who learn to connect unhealthy
snacks with the emotional payoff of a job well done are being sent conflicting
messages; on the one hand, they’re taught to avoid unhealthy food items, but
then they’re conversely being encouraged to accept these same foods as a reward
for good behavior. Associating unhealthy foods with specific feelings and moods
during childhood can cause your child to reach for those foods during times of
distress as an adult to stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain; emotional
dependence on food can have far-reaching implications.
Because no two children are the same, the currency approach to rewards
and consequences can help you to tailor disciplinary measures to each
individual youngster in your home, rather than taking a less-effective
one-size-fits-all approach. Taking the time to uncover your kids’ currency and
dedicating yourself to using it as a method of affecting change may not always
be easy, but it will help you reverse problem behaviors while rewarding those that
you approve of.
GO Nannies
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